Dec. 29th, 2009 02:40 pm
tikibar: (trap)
[personal profile] tikibar
I help run a TSA* security checkpoint. We have hundreds of thousands of people come through our checkpoint every day. We stop or turn away hundreds of thousands more because they have sharp, steel knives that are very dangerous. We are very good at finding steel knives**! We can also tell a lot about the people that come through our checkpoint. We know who they are, where they're from and where they're going. If they have luggage, we can even tell you what color it is!

And then one day a person that had come through our checkpoint robbed the Starbucks* on the secure side of the checkpoint with a wooden spoon! Oh noes, we can't track wooden spoons! Today we were asked to identify how many people came through the checkpoint with wooden spoons, to determine if this was a widespread problem or if it was just a targeted attack***.

True story analogy!

* Not really.
** For some value of "steel knives."

Date: 2009-12-29 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tisiphone.livejournal.com
See, if you really ran a TSA checkpoint, you'd just ban all wood products based on their obvious application to terrorism. No notepaper for you!

Date: 2009-12-29 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fubar.livejournal.com
Ah, but this isn't about stopping anything at all! We just need to know how many wooden spoons got through.

Date: 2009-12-29 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hatter.livejournal.com
Half of them got through. The other half were confiscated even before this problem because you were having a bad day, and wanted to make a show that at least you were doing something, even if noone was bringing steel knives through anymore, anyhow.

And you should have **'d "very good" as well - for values that don't include, for instance, surgical steel scalpels that may have inadvertantly ended up in my hand luggage, barely concealed, despite examining the contents of my bag.

the hatter

Date: 2009-12-29 09:03 pm (UTC)
mangosteen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mangosteen
If we outlaw wooden spoons....

Date: 2009-12-30 02:23 am (UTC)
jss: (badger)
From: [personal profile] jss
Parser error: `Targeted attack' indicates a footnote with reference *** but there is no corresponding footnote.


Date: 2009-12-30 03:56 pm (UTC)
drwex: (Whorfin)
From: [personal profile] drwex
They're all totally mad, I tell you.

Date: 2009-12-30 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] virtuallykayla.livejournal.com
I once worked with a doctor that asked for a specific instrument. I handed it to him and he said thats not what he wanted. I said thats what you asked for. He said get me what I need, not what I ask for. FML!


tikibar: (Default)

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